A Wedding in Nepal ( Page 1) |
I met my young friend Suresh in 1995 on my trip around the world with my friend Robin. I was very curious about this remote country in the foothills of the mighty Himalayas. Our first impression was shock, it is a very poor country, the "highway" from the airport to the hotel was full of potholes and lined with crumbling buildings, it looked liked this country was falling apart. When we arrived at the hotel we had picked from our latest Baedecker guide book, the room cost double than quoted. My friend Robin and I felt very discouraged and we decided to go to the next local travel agency and beg for help. And so we landed in the hands of Hari Nakarmi, owner of Shakti Travel, who made everything right for us and Nepal became our favorite stop on our trip. He found us a lovely hotel, a car, a driver and a guide, - all very affordable. He suggested what to see and what to do. During a 3 day trip to jungle in southern Nepal his son Suresh came along. And this was the start of a beautiful friendship. We stayed in touch over email and he invited me to his wedding. |
The wedding was supposed to last for three days, but, unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately for the guests and families), due to a major strike in Kathmandu, the wedding was condensed to one day. |
Suresh, Rojina and her priest during the wedding ceremony |
Following Suresh's blessing ceremony we were driven, with the groom, to the house of the bride in the town of Patan, right across the river from Kathmandu. The bride's house was a 5 story townhouse with 2 or 3 rooms on each floor and 2 large roof terraces. (Suresh's family lives in a similar style house) The wedding was held in a room on the top floor and conducted by priests of both families. Only immediate family members attended. Our wonderful hosts told us that we were considered family and received a place of honor at every ceremony. There were several ceremonies and during the breaks we were served full meals. All other guests started to arrive mid morning. A large section in front of the house had been roped off with bright blue and yellow canvas panels and plenty of chairs were placed. Friends and relatives of the groom's side arrived with a band which continued playing while food and beverages were served to the guests. |
We were picked up at 7:30 am and driven to the groom's house, where there was a ceremony to bless the groom by his family's priest. (picture above). |
Beautiful Rojina with a rare smile, getting married is a very serious affair for the bride |
During all ceremonies we sat on floor mats with the uncles and fathers of the bride opposite the couple. At the end of the last wedding ceremony we were served curried eggs, a small dried fish and Roxy (tasts like gin) - for good luck. Then the couple stood up, Rojina put more flowers around Suresh's neck and gave him a ring, Suresh put a beautiful gold necklace with gold coins, gold bangles, a watch and a red necklace with many stings of small beads, (which all married women wear) on Rojina. Then he put a red line with red "tika" paste from the middle of the skull to her forhead, followed by Rojina walking 3 times around Suresh and then getting on her knees and bowing to his feet. Now Suresh and Rojina were married. But there was no wedding kiss. The bride and groom are not supposed to talk or touch until the wedding is over and they are alone together. (Weren't they lucky the wedding did not last three days!) However, while everyone was taking pictures of the newly weds, Suresh humored us by posing "American" style, by putting his arm around Rojina and leaning his head against hers. Rojiana was embarrassed but found it very funny and burst out laughing. Nepalese have a great sense of humor and laughter is always contageous. Everyone in the room was highly amused. |
Dads and uncles sitting next to us during the ceremonies |
Wedding picture "American" style - my favorite wedding picture. |
A wedding parade, unfortunately not Suresh's, we walked in his parade and we did not have such a good view. This one we shot the day before of another wedding |
With a parade headed by the band, candle bearer, gift bearer and followed by guests, Suresh takes his bride in his decorated car to his home. |
Another ceremonie was yet to come, someone told us that it was the "crying ceremony" and we quickly learned why. Rojina had entered the room without Suresh and was surrounded by her sisters, mother and aunts. After she sat down she received (unwrapped) presents from her family, which ranged from makeup kits, to beautiful silver bowls to huge copper water containers. For each gift she handed out bethel nuts. After she received a few gifts she started to cry and with every gift she cried more. Her hands and body were shaking, her sister had to put the bethel nuts into her hand and poor Rojina could not even see the presents she was receiving. Soon everybody in the room was crying, including Billi, and the noise was heart-breaking. When all the gifts had been presented a huge plate of food was put in front of Rojina, her farewell meal. But poor Rojina was still so shaken, she only pretended to taste the food. After another brake, it was time for Rojina to leave her parents' home. The car and the band for the parade were waiting. But before Rojina could get into the car her uncle carried her 3 times around the car. This was difficult with several hundred people crowding around to get their first glimbs of the newly weds. All the guests had been waiting for many hours. |
Couple with aunts, aunt Sheela (left of Suresh, came from Texas) |
Rojina with her sister at the start of the "crying session" |
