27 weeks: My pregnancy was pretty uneventful up until around my 27 week apt. The doctor I saw (who wasn't my normal OB) said that my blood pressure was somewhat elevated (138/78) and though that wasn't considered the minimum for hypertension (140/90) it could still be a problem, so they said they'd watch it.
I limited my activity and watched what I ate a little better. That was also around the time I noticed a slight decrease in fetal activity.
29 weeks: At 29 weeks my blood pressure was 175/91. When they took it a little later, after I had been lying down for a while, it was still elevated at 141/86. What I didn't realize at the time was that MY normal blood pressure reading is in the 100-110/55-64 range, the increase I had was not normal, regardless of the hypertension standards.
They were worried about pre-eclampsia so they checked my urine to see if there was any protein in it, there wasn't so I thought I was in the clear. The amount of water I was retaining seemed to increase on a daily basis, however but my doctor told me that was a normal pregnancy thing so again, I didn't worry.
I also expressed my fears based on the decreased movement of my baby to her and she didn't really ask many questions or think it was a problem, so I left it at that. My doctor knows all.
31 weeks: I went to the OB Special Care Unit at our hospital because the baby hadn't moved for over an hour. First thing when I got in there, they hooked me up to a fetal monitor and we got to hear our precious babies heart beating away, it was wonderful. There was one time while I was being monitored that we heard his heart rate slow down, my husband and I were very worried, as were the doctors in the OBSCU. They eventually said it may not be a problem and there's a possibility that that happens sometimes with fetuses but because they are not being monitored all the time we just don't catch it. So, yet again I believed everything to be ok.
They preformed and ultrasound there in the room and looked at our baby's chest to see if he would do his little "practice breaths" for us...he didn't. Then they checked the amniotic fluid to see if there was enough in there, they never actually said but I assumed it was ok.
I was sent home and told to come back if I had any other problems.
33 weeks and 4 days:
I had an appointment at 10:15 AM; I was there by 10. They weighed me, took my blood pressure and had me sit down and wait.
11:15 AM, I was called in. I told my doctor I was retaining lots of water and how uncomfortable it was. She measured my fundus (height of my uterus), which measured 32cm a little on the small size for my gestation. But again there was no worry. Then she listened to the heartbeat, which was "in the 120-130's with good variability." I also explained that there had been very little movement that entire morning and I didn't know if that was because I was up and about doing things the whole time. Again nothing.
My blood pressure was still elevated and my edema was so bad she said she was pretty sure I had pre-eclampsia and would send my to the lab for a urine test and some blood work, and that I should wait for the results of the protein in my urine. I waited. Eventually she came back out and told me that they consider anything of 30 high and mine was well over 100, so I was going to the hospital to be monitored.
12:15 PM, I went home to drop off my 24-hour urine collection "thing" and call my parents to let them know what was going on. Then I called my friend Catie to see if she could go to the hospital with me, she agreed. I drove to her house, left my car and she drove us.
12:40 PM, When we got to the OBSCU I was joking with the nurse and just generally happy, nothing bad could happen to me. Or so I thought. When she tried to hook me up to the fetal monitor, she couldn't find the heartbeat. I was not worried, she said it could possibly be the way the baby is positioned and went to get an OB to do and ultrasound to see.
1 PM, While I was talking to Catie, the OB came in, introduced herself and went about setting up for the ultrasound. When she started doing it I remember making a comment about how I could not tell what anything was, then she scanned over the heart, I knew what that was. It was my baby's heart and it was not beating. It was loudly still. My heart was broken. Maybe I was wrong. But then she said it, "I'm sorry but there is no heartbeat, and there doesn't appear to be any amniotic fluid either." The latter part took me by surprise because I was pretty sure my water didn't break and wasn't leaking so I didn't know what happened.
She explained it, the baby needs to be constantly regenerating the fluid, it drinks it and urinates to keep it in good supply. But when a baby has died, its body just absorbs it, hence the lack of fluid. She told me it appeared as though my baby had been dead for a day or so. But why was there a heartbeat at the doctor's office? I couldn't believe it, my baby had died and I didn't even know. What kind of mother am I?
1:05 PM, I asked my fried Catie if she could please call my husbands work and get him over here. He was standing watch and extremely busy so said they would have him get back to us as soon as he was done. This did not make me happy. Eventually we got word that he was on his way but had no idea what was going on.
2:25-2:30 PM, On his way up to the OB Floor he ran into my cousin Kelly, whom I hadn't seen in over 4 months (and was pregnant as well and due 2 months after me), and happens to be the ONLY family I have within 1500 miles. (Husband is in the Navy). Kelly stopped him but he interrupted her to say I was up stairs and he needed to get to me. Then he walked into my room.
Almost immediately the OB said "I'm very sorry, but your baby has passed away." I will never forget the look on his face when she told him, it was almost as if my heart were breaking for a second time. I felt like such a failure, I couldn't even have our baby. We cried and held each other for a few minutes. I was told they needed to start the induction right away because my blood pressure was dangerously high and they didn't have time to wait.
2:45 PM, I undressed and got into the hospital gown, and they walked my down the hall from the OB Special Care Unit to the delivery room. It was a long walk, and I can still see the faces of the people who watched.
3 PM, It took them over an hour to get the IV started with my edema being so bad. Took 3 nurses, an anesthesiologist, and 5 pokes (that I can remember) to get that IV in. And it was in my arm, on the inside of my elbow so the entire time I was in labor, if I bent my arm the IV would beep saying I wasn't getting the "stuff" I was supposed to. Kind of funny.
While they were putting in the IV, my cousin Kelly came up to see what was going on, after my husband told her what had happened she came into my room crying. She stayed for a little while and asked what she could do to help. She had her 2 year old with her so she had to get going after about a half an hour of visiting.
4 PM, They gave me half a tablet of cytotec behind my cervix to get it to ripen, because my body was NOT ready for labor. They also started me on Magnesium Sulfate to lower my blood pressure, fluids for obvious reasons, and put in a catheter because the Mag-sulfate decreases your muscle control and we didn't want any accidents.
The Magnesium Sulfate gives you incredibly intense hot flashes and makes you sick to your stomach. So my body was cold, my face was REALLY hot and I felt pretty damn sick to my stomach.
Then Johnny (my husband) had to call the family. My parents first, my mom was the only one home. She drove to the park where my Dad and little sister were having softball practice to tell them. She also told my grandparents and other family as well.
This was also when Johnny had a couple he works with come over. They brought him food and visited with us for a while. They were really concerned and even fixed the fan in my room so it didn't rattle.
Back to the labor part:
5 PM, My mom called to say she was coming up from California to be with us (in Washington state). And my doctor got there, she was very sorry. I remember her saying "We heard a heartbeat didn't we." She checked me at that time and I was not really dilated and 90% effaced. She gave me the other half of the cytotec and went on her merry way.
7:30--8 PM, Our friends Catie (the one who came with me to the hospital) and Jerry (her husband) and their baby, Samantha (SHE'S SO CUTE!), came by again to drop off our car. He also brought food for Johnny and flowers for me, so sweet. They stayed for a little while and we had a nice conversation and thanked them for everything they did.
9 PM or so, The catheter was making me very uncomfortable; stick me with needles all you want, but make sure that catheter is in the right way. OUCH! I bitched enough for them to give me some pain medication (Demerol). That sounds bad but the nurse who put it in didn't do a very good job so the initial pain you should experience with it was never-ending. Boy did that Demerol mess me up.
I woke up a few times to vomit then fell back to sleep.
1 AM (about), my mother got there, the nurses said "Stacey, your moms here." I woke up to smile and then my head hit the pillow again.
1:30 AM, I came back around, still sick and vomiting but not totally doped up on Demerol anymore. I hugged my mom and cried. It was so hard; I just kept feeling like I let everyone down.
2 AM (about), they started the Pitocin drip. Then started the contractions!
3 AM; The contractions started to hurt! I asked for my epidural at that point.
4 AM, (an hour later!) The anesthesiologist came in and said I would have to wait because there was someone in there further along in labor than I was but he'd be back in 15 minutes. I was about 1cm and 90% effaced at this point.
5 AM, (Another hour later!) he finally returned and started the epi process. I was definitely NOT a happy camper. Then came all the prep work, putting the cath in there and getting the medication to work.
6 AM, before the epidural started working. Even then it wasn't total relief as one in labor would hope to get, I still felt some pressure in my lower abdominal area. But it was ok, so I took a nap. So did Johnny.
6:45 AM, The epidural stopped working! I had been up for about 5 minutes talking to my mom and I started to feel them coming on more aggressively and by 6:45 AM they were so bad! If you watched the monitor, you could see that it was almost like ONE HUGE contraction with little dips here and there, but they never went away. Even those "dips" I got wasn't really relief because it wasn't as though the contraction was stopping, it was merely letting up a little. Ugh. Not fun. I wanted the anesthesiologist in there RIGHT AWAY!
7:00 AM, He got there fairly quickly and said, "let's try something." And injected something into the epidural "IV." Then he said, "I'LL BE BACK IN 5 MINUTES!"
7:30 AM, BAD contractions and the anesthesiologist still wasn't there. My doctor checked me: 2 "almost three" cm and fully effaced.
7:50 AM, Still no anesthesiologist. AND I HAD TO PUSH! I told my mom and husband and my doctor came running in. She tried to check me as quickly as possible and found I was complete. I was pushing!
7:55 AM, I passed out.
7:55 AM and 45 sec, I woke up.
8:00 AM, My baby was born asleep.
8:01 AM, My mom says, "It's a boy!"
Then they took him away and cleaned him up a little and gave him back. A nurse took some digital pictures of us with him. We got his footprints, the inkpad they used for his footprints, the hat he was wearing, the blanket he was wrapped in, and many wonderful memories.
Ethan Michael Deretich
June 9, 2001 @ 8:00 AM
2lbs 15.7 oz --- 15.5 inches
UPDATE:
After the birth of my son Gavin, and over a year after Ethan had passed away the mortuary where Ethan had been, called and told us that the hospital sent THEM a letter saying the hospital had decided not to continue they're search for the cause of death. That was OK for us, because we pretty much know the cause. All the signs point to preeclampsia. My blood pressure had been elevated even before 27 weeks, he had IUGR, and his placenta and umbilical cord were small for gestational age. They also tested my blood after he was born and we found I have Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome.
It's been over three years since Ethan was born and time doesn't take away the pain and emptiness, I still have "rough times" when my emotions are run wild and I feel out of control, but they happen a little less often now. I still bring out Ethan's blanket, hat, and pictures whenever I feel the need to be closer to him. I will always miss him, but I'm glad I had the time with him that I did.
I'm just a little baby,
Who didn't quite make it there:
I went straight to be with Jesus,
But I'm waiting for you here.
Don't you fret about me Mommy,
I'm of all God's lambs most blessed;
I'd loved to stay there with you,
But the Shepherd knows what's best.
Many dwelling here where I live,
Waited for years to enter in,
Struggled through a world of sorrow,
And their lives were marred with sin.
So sweet Mommy, don't you sorrow,
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom:
I went straight to Jesus' bosom,
From my lovely Mother's womb.
Thank you for the life you gave me,
It was brief, but don't complain;
I have all of heaven's glory,
Suffered none of earthling's pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me,
I'd loved to brought it fame;
But if I'd lingered in earth's shadow,
Might instead have br'ot it shame.
Daddy gave me something for you,
It's our secret, Mommy dear,
Pressed it tight against my forehead,
Whispered in my tiny ear.
I'll be waiting for you, Mommy,
You and Daddy too;
I'll be with you then forever,
Then I'll give Daddy's kiss to you.
