THE CREATIVE WRITING CLASS
under Caroline Brem does a lot of laughing when we are not being "serious"
To relax we write limericks and other things:
The Story of Maude
A well-known author was Maude
She named her new hero Claude
But she struck a hard rock
And got writer’s block
Her envious mates sighed “Maude’s a fraud!”
She enrolled in a course
And mind-mapped till she was hoarse
She tried all the tricks
To get out of her fix
Not a word from her brain could she force.
Then she spoke to a literary quack
Who said “Try writing your thoughts front to back
Let your conscience stream
You’ll fill many a ream
In the thro’ you’ll find your old knack”
So Maude wrote to the hawk and wren
And renamed her character Ben
She hit the high road
The words freely flowed
Maude’s a famous writer again.
Noel Braun
There was an old wife from Belgrade
Who suspected her husband had strayed
She caught him in bed
With the maid, but he said
“We’re just sleeping.” As her fears were allayed.
Mike Holland
"Way down in Woolloomoolloo
Was a man who liked voodoo
He used Barbie dolls
To call out the trolls
To prove that he knew what to do"
August 24th 2004
"There was an artist called Vince
Who painted a plate of mince
He cut off his ear
Which cost him so dear
That silly Van Gough called Vince"
"When taking a walk in Hyde Park
I saw someone having a lark
He'd jumped in the fountain
Like a clumsy great mountain
And his nakedness simply was stark"
"I once knew a fellow called Kevin
Who wanted to get to Heaven
But he tripped on the ladder
Got badder and badder
'Til hell claimed him at 77"
August 17th 2004
"There was a young girl from Vancouver
Who tried to fly off on a Hoover
It's electric she said
The broomstick is dead
And I have to fly back to Vancouver"
"There was a young girl from Woolloomoolloo
Who played and played on the didgeridoo
The sound was mournful
And not very tuneful
So they all helped her move to Uluru"
"For dinner a pepper I tried to eat
It being so big it was a feat
To get the pepper on the table
From the ceiling I had a cable
Darn, to the restaurant and get a seat!"
"There was a young man at the WAC
Who suffered a sudden attack
So Meredith said
Just get him a bed
Before he slides out through the crack."
"There was a young fellow from Sydney
Who needed a doc for his kidney
He asked for a loan
Of his friend's mobile phone
And he did the right thing with it, didn'ee?"
Jill Nosworthy
"A wanna-be writer from the town of Heathcote
Had little success with the stories she wrote
So she tried a new tack
Joined up at the WAC
And now she's a much published author of note."
There once was a class learning writing
In a room with extremely good lighting
They scribbled away
For most of the day
And spent the last hour reciting
Denise Holden
"A woman who went to the Lourve
Said now that I've found my oevre
I write limericks all day
But I can't make them pay
So it's hard to get back to the Louvre"
"When a cowboy from South Arizona
Told his wife he's about to disown 'er
She kicked up a row
And stole his best cow
To go run with the bulls in Pamplona"
"Nanna said it was David she did prefer
So the other brothers did think to test her
She told the press and wants to be dead
As later the truth on her they did confer"
